In Memoriam: The 2019 (Fantasy) Football Season
Football is over… unless you count the XFL… give it a week or two and maybe we will. But for now, it’s easier for the head and the heart to believe it’s the offseason. To cope, let us reminisce over the highs and the lows of this past year’s Fantasy Football season. We know that talking about one’s Fantasy Football team is about as socially acceptable as talking politics or religion at the bar, and that’s why we here at The Halftime Snack didn’t bore you with our league's weekly fantasy chinwags. However, because we’re mourning the end of the 2019 season, we’ve found it helpful to revisit the highlights.
Now, there are a few things to know before we dive into the meat of our weekly fantasy football reviews. The theme for our reviews this year was movies from 2001-2017. Week 1 compared movies from 2001 to fantasy football performances in week 1, week 2 was compared to movies released in 2002 and so on. Additionally, the entire fantasy football season was compared to an epic journey akin to a fantasy movie/series. Pretty straightforward? Great! That’s all you need to know, and now that everyone’s caught up, let’s get on with the dwelling of the past.
Week 1 - Movies of 2001: The Journey Begins
Assuming time is linear, we must start at the beginning. Fresh, naïve, and still excited about the future; we cannonballed into week one like it was the public pool on the first day of summer. We jumped in baggy t-shirts and all. We took our risks, and we went all in. But now, with the first week done, we adapt and prepare for the long road ahead.
One of the most essential aspect of starting a journey is putting the team together. Maybe you gathered a council to assemble your team, or you happened to stumbled upon them, or perhaps you built the team through a combination of focused research and personal observation. Regardless to your technique, the right players matter… but as we saw in week one, sometimes a sure thing (Tyreek Hill) flames out faster than a Mark Wahlberg led reboot of Planet of the Apes. If anything, the first week showed us that expectations are deadly dangerous.
Week 2 - Movies of 2002: Who’s the Hero?
What does a fantasy owner, an NFL team owner, and a major motion picture studio owner have in common? They own something… and they have to figure out what to do when their superstar begins to age out of their starting role. They need to search for the next big thing…. Which in our Keepers league, can be huge and easier said than done. He may have all the talent in the world but can’t remember the playbook. He may have great instincts and is able to read the game but has a bad attitude and wears stupid fucking thumb rings. Or, maybe he has all the intelligence to excel but doesn’t understand the politics and the business side of the big leagues.
Week 3 – Movies of 2003: A Sense of Unease
Everything we “know” about fantasy football comes to a halt in week three. What we’re left with, an overwhelming sense of disquiet. This was “Your Year” and now you’re noticing all the chinks in your armor. Your franchise player is aging, your sleeper pick hasn’t woken up, and you’ve got more Holes in your roster than the plot of Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Reality has set in and week three reveals the truth of it all, you best start believing in ghost stories… your team’s about to become one.
Week 4 – Movies of 2004: A Supporting Role
A good role player will always be there when the Hero most needs them, but they don’t always take the form you’d expect. The sidekick might be a self-aware robot, or perhaps a Spanish speaking cat in boots, or it could be a mentally disabled weatherman with a proclivity for throwing tridents. Regardless of how our supporting characters take form, they are essential to the progress of the story. So when our stars find themselves vulnerable in a foreign environment, support is there to ease their discomfort even if they don’t have the ability to save them outright.
In week four we saw secondary players rise up to fill the void from under-performing stars like Tom Brady (4 points), DeAndre Hopkins (2 points), and JuJu Smith-Schuster (1-point). Wayne Gallman who was averaging 3.3 ppg in the previous 3 weeks was a Man on Fire picking up 21 points in week four. Kenny Golladay was averaging 9.7 ppg, and like a Hellboy, reaped 18 points this last week.
Week 5 – Movies of 2005: The Wise Old Teacher
In all journeys there comes a time when our hero needs to be tutored to fulfill their prodigious potential. The withered sage comes along when the hero is brimming with confidence and superiority to knock them down a peg. However, it is still up to our hero to determine how to utilize their newfound wisdom and skill. It’s a difficult path to Walk the Line of righteousness, and all too often we see those with the greatest potential (JaMarcus Russel) stumble into the dark side. So please, take heed of your tutors words, but know, even with all the information in the universe, you still have to make the right decisions.
Week 6 – Movies of 2006: An Acceleration of Time
The second act is filled with little victories, a greater understanding of potential, and character development all neatly packaged into time-augmented montages. Sometimes these accelerated progressions involve overcoming deficiencies, transforming into a better version of yourself, or sometimes just coming to grips with your world and who you are.
Week 7 – Movies of 2007: Three is the Magic Number
A good story involves more than the binary push and pull. Adding a third element to the equation creates an unpredictable element and a more realistic narrative. In physics, when two bodies act on each other’s gravitational fields they’ll create a predictable pattern of ebbs and flows around a central mass, but when you add a third body it creates an unpredictable equation that lacks any consistent pattern known as the Third-Body Problem. This element of chaos creates for a more interesting journey… Because chaos has no rules, a third entity can occasionally add some stability to the system like the third leg to a tri-pod. Or, it can add an element of discomfort like the addition of a third wheel.
Week 7 proved that just as we began to see a pattern to our chaos, everything goes to shit – the good are bad, the strong are weak, Marvin “Blades of Glory” Jones Jr. racks up 33-points. Chaos!
Week 8 – Movies of 2008: Identifying the Enemy
Some villains are abundantly clear from the get-go, but a late reveal, the kind that sneaks up on you, those are the ones most dangerous. Identifying the enemy is not always simple. Yes, there will always be the Jokers of the world, who aren’t going to hide in the shadows, but sometimes the adversary is a little more mysterious. The enemy could be that guy you thought was on your side and perhaps you overlooked, or the enemy might be a hierarchical, caste-like societal system, or perhaps the enemy is an over-reliance on comfort and a general lack of motivation. Bottomline, we need to stay vigilant and avoid those hidden boobytraps.
Week 9 – Movies of 2009: Self-Reflection
Last week we identified the enemy, but this week we must identify how we fit in the changing narrative. It can be a tough pill to swallow when you realize you’ve been playing a supporting character. However, often these seemingly secondary characters can step up and take a lead role. The developmental pathway starts with identifying who you’ve been up to this point and ratifying change on yourself and the environment around you.
Week nine has made it clear, teams that are open to change and seeking ways to develop, are progressing to the next level. They’ve switched up their players and strategies to overcome The Hangover of early season mediocracy. Conversely, other teams that started the season Fast & Furious allowed that early success to lull them into a state of comfort and they neglected to protect their Blind Side.
Week 10 – Movies of 2010: The Score
Strong storytelling, a disciplined plot, and well-drawn characters help move a story with seamless efficiency. But equally as import for the progression of a great tale, is the score. The score adds another crispy, crusty layer of emotion to a scene. It’s the element you often feel deep in your bones. Some may argue that a good score should blend in with the background, but I’d argue a score that pops off the screen and builds upon the moment, becomes its own character.
A good score is like a solid Flex position player. They can add a little magic to your squad, they can help build the suspense, or they could be the focal piece the rest of the team revolves around.
Week 11 – Movies of 2011: The Flashback
As the hourglass drains on our journey, the time to build a strong foundation slips away. It can be difficult to construct the story you’ve envisioned when time is limited, but in a pinch, a flashback can be a useful tool to provide background and advance the story.
It may sound counterintuitive, but the flashback accelerates our journey toward a more satisfying conclusion. For much of the season we don’t have all the answers; however, a quick look back can illuminate those blind spots. A retrospective look can help us understand our motivations, it can better define our end goal, or it can highlight key moments and momentum changes.
Week 12 – Movies of 2012: The Big Reveal
Late in a good story there should be an event that alters our perception of a character or characters, that will disrupt the rhythm of our progress, and add another twist to our Unexpected Journey. It should come sudden and without warning for the biggest impact. The big reveal is a storytelling device that’s been used since the beginning of time but never grows old because the anticipation can generate as much or more entertainment than the reveal itself. Even when we know the reveal is coming, like say from the title of the film, it’s worth the wait.
Week twelve was a week of revelations. Lamar “Django Unchained” Jackson put up another staggering 35-point beat down and has almost certainly revealed himself to be this year’s MVP. Meanwhile, Tom “This is 40” Brady has just ordered his life alert bracelet as he continues to fall in the QB rankings with an amoebic 11-point outing. Maybe Brady has one last surprise in store for us, but it’s looking like his revelatory days are over.
Week 13 – Movies of 2013: Final Preparations
Before the final battle or the big heist, the penultimate moment is typically one of preparation. The moments just before the grand finale typically act as a time of relief. The final preparations are like the calm before the storm, and not only are they essential for the journey’s climax, but also for the audience’s sanity. Moreover, this down time provides the story teller a chance to wrap up a few loose ends with some heart to hearts and, if you’re lucky, an epic speech.
The penultimate week of the regular season was one of trying to reestablish some control and prepare for the final battle. Effective ways to slow it down and regroup include: taking a breather and having a little chit chat, sharing a quiet meal, or maybe even some productive hallucination. Whatever method is utilized, the ultimate goal should be to regain some control before plummeting once again into the chaos of this league.
Week 14 – Movies of 2014: The Battle Begins
The end is nigh. Within the early moments of the final battle we experience intense nerves, high adrenaline, extreme focus, and then a quiet sense of calm all in quick succession. To an outsider it’s chaos, but within the battle all the pieces we’ve picked up from our journey are beginning to fit into place.
The last week of the regular season was for many the first week of the playoffs. A critical aspect in the beginning of any great battle is the grand entrance. A slow walk can be dramatic but so can a monstrous battle cry. Every moment at this stage of the game needs to be calculated. Some teams are coming in full speed ahead, while others have stuttered a bit near the finish. But regardless of your ranking, there is no certainty in what tomorrow will bring. Every day, from this point on, is judgement day.
Week 15 – Movies of 2015: The Battle Rages On
At this point in the game, you’re battling two opponents, those in the other uniforms and fatigue. Everyone will hit their wall, but a few will find the strength to bust through. Finding that special something inside of you that’ll trick your body into pushing forward is a critical element towards victory… and yet, having a ringer doesn’t hurt either.
Motivation can come from the hunger to prove you’re not a mistake, it can come from a thirst for revenge, or it can simply come from the desire to stay alive. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for the opposition to have just as much drive as you, and that’s where the right tools, some strategy, and a little luck come into play. It’s destined to be a hell of a ride for the next two weeks, but for the team that can Get Hard and find that little bit of something extra, this will be their season to remember.
Week 16 – Movies of 2016: The Moment of Glory
As the final battles burn down to coals, there is always the moment of glory. It is the distinguishing example when gazed upon in retrospect that identifies the final turning point in our story. It's the instant our heroes catch their big break, or fulfill their destiny, or right the world’s wrongs. The moment of glory is what we’ve worked for the past 16 weeks, but is it our satisfying ending? No, not quite.
Week 17 – Movies of 2017: In Conclusion
The conclusion isn’t just the final conquest, it must also comfort the audience and reassure them that the world lives on after this story ends. Loose ends will be tied up and a satisfying (if not clear) picture will be painted of what lies ahead. In conclusion, the conclusion finalizes our journey but provides the peace of mind that this end isn’t the end.
Our champion had their ups and downs and their moment of glory and did it all without relying on a superstar fantasy player like Lamar Jackson or Christian McCaffrey. They put together a well-balanced team including solid running backs like Ezekiel “Baby Driver” Elliott, talented wide receivers like Courtland “The Big Sick” Sutton, and a rotation of suitable quarterbacks such as Baker “Geostorm” Mayfield and Daniel “The Shape of Water” Jones. They fought and fought and fought and weren’t satisfied until the proverbial fat Amy sang.
Our champion deserves all the accolades, but the end of this season isn’t the end. Because as we all clearly know, this league isn’t just about this league. This league is our own perennial epic journey. We fight for more than just the prize money. We fight for pride, and we fight to prove that we’re just a little bit smarter and just a little bit bolder than everyone else… because that’s the point of competition and life, right?
